As we grow up there are so many things we come to realise and learn that we wish we had known sooner! How much easier would my teenage years have been if I had just known I didn’t have to squeeze myself into that stupidly tight skirt to ‘look good’ at a party and that wearing what I was comfortable in would have been a much better option. Or, what about if I had known that buying condoms in the supermarket didn’t have to be embarrassing. There are so many things, even at 21-years-old, that I have learnt about myself, sex and relationships that I wish I could tell my 13-year-old self. I’m sure it would have prevented a lot of stress.
I asked some of my friends and some of the Perky team what they wish they had known growing up and they didn't disappoint…
Hannah, 22, “Growing up I wish I realised that attraction is subjective and being yourself is more important. I spent way too long thinking that if you weren’t conventionally attractive, didn't wear certain clothes or didn't do a certain make-up look etc that you were just unattractive by default.”
Niamh, 20, “One of the things I wished I had known about relationships was that just because you have your first relationship it doesn’t mean that you have to rush into getting intimate straight away just because you’re a couple”
Amy, 20, "Self-love is everything. I’d heard it before but never really believed it. Being surrounded by friends who didn’t look like me and seeing the ‘ideal’ body on TV, magazines and Instagram, I thought I needed to look the same in order to finally be happy with my own self-image. My mindset finally changed when I met people who had the confidence I aspired to have, seeing the body positivity side of TikTok and when I started pointing out parts of myself, I liked. One day it just clicked. I’m not perfect, I still point out my flaws sometimes, but if only I had embraced my ‘ugly’ bits when I was younger, that self-love would’ve gone a long way."
Jess, 21, “I wish I had known earlier that sex is meant to be fun. I used to take it too seriously and get so embarrassed if the slightest thing ‘went wrong.’ But the thing is that things make funny noises, you laugh, it should be enjoyable. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself”
Lucy, 23, “It sounds crazy when you think about it but I didn’t even know girls could orgasm until my mid teens, why was I not taught about that, like come on now how ridiculous is that. But, girls, you can.”
Ben, 22, “you shouldn’t be afraid to do what you want. I know it sounds so cliche but at the end of the day as long as you’re happy that’s all that matters, whether it be in your relationship or just more generally in life.”
Lily, 21, “I wish I had known not to stay with someone just because it is convenient or comfortable, if you’re not happy it isn't worth it.”
Anna, 22, “I never even knew what discharge was, I thought I had wet myself. But, I urge everyone to learn about their bodies and research. We aren’t taught half enough of what we should know in school, so take it into your own hands and learn.”
Milly, 23, “Just communicate in relationships. I wish I had known when I was younger how stupid playing mind games was. It was such a waste of time and just hurts everyone's feelings. Your partner shouldn’t want to upset you so if you are upset, tell them and they can change. They can’t guess how you’re feeling if you don’t tell them.”
Emma, 22, “ The number one thing I wish I had learnt is to pee after sex. UTI’s are real. Please pee. If I had known this it would have saved me.”
This advice definitely would have helped us when we were younger; and we hope it can help some of you. We all still have a long way to go, but it’s reassuring to know we can all be pretty clueless together!
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